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Livin in a Chokish paradise...HE'S SCUM!A spoof of a spoof. Credits to "Weird Al" Yankovic for his song: Amish Paradise and Gump
Amish Paradise (original)
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe It's as primitive as can be We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish paradise There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish paradise Yech Chokish Paradise (edited)
Ok, I can't spoof the whole song but I'll spoof the chorus.
We've been spending our two years
Livin' in a Chokish paradise
We fail H3 chem once or twice
Livin' in a Chokish paradise
But it's quite funny actually
Livin' in a Chokish paradise
The teacher's outta his mind
Livin' in a Chokish paradise
Gump (original)
Gump sat alone on a bench in the park
"My name is Forrest", he'd casually remark Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates He's Gump, he's Gump What's in his head? He's Gump, he's Gump, he's Gump Is he in-bred? Gump was a big celebrity He told JFK that he really had to pee He never feels too dumb because His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does He's Gump, he's Gump He's kinda square He's Gump, he's Gump, he's Gump What's with that hair? Run... run... run, run, now Forrest Run... run... run like the wind now Run... run... run, run, now Forrest Run... stop! His buddy Bubba was a shrimp-lovin' man His friend with no legs he called Lieutenant Dan His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt He's Gump, he's Gump He's not too bright He's Gump, he's Gump, he's Gump But he's alright Is this Gump out of his head? I think so Is this Gump really brain dead? I think so Did this Gump make lots of bread? I think so And that's all I have to say about that Scum (edit)
Scum sat alone on his bicycle seat
"My name is Premchan'", He'd casually remark
Cycling his bike with his hands in his pockets
He just kept saying the road is like a box of chocolates
He's Scum, he's Scum
What's in his head?
He's Scum, he's scum, he's scum
Is he i-nbred?
Grump was a big imbecile
He told Mr Yang that he really had to pee
He never feels too dumb because
His friend always told him he thinks better with his balls
He's Scum, he's Scum
He's he's kinda mad
He's Scum, he's scum, he's scum
What's with his lunch?
Run...run...run, now Premchan'
Run...run...run your teacher's coming now
Run...DAng (Got caught)
His friend Kenny was a car-lovin' man
His friend who was spastic he called Mr Tee Kay Wok
His girlfriend Demaptera was kind of a slut
Played BF and raped the newbie's butt.
He's Scum, He's Scum
He's not too bright
He's Scum, he's Scum, he's Scum
But he's alright
Is this Scum out of his head?
I think so Is this Scum really brain dead? I think so Did this Gump bake lot's of bread? I think so And that's all I have to say about that. Spoof of a spoof = MEGA SPOOF
Comments please Random quote
25 september Journey's endMy life has been turned upside down and everything shaken out. I have nothing more to my name. I have nothing in my pockets, not a penny to throw down a wishing well to wish things straight. Can't things be the way they were? Why must the winds of time blow my way and blow everything I have away. Nobody knows who I really am. Nobody cares for who I am. I am just dust and shadow. The world is ending. My world is dying. Soon, there will be nothing left. I will become and empty shell. A ghost of my former self. Wandering along the lives of men. Invisible. Till the day I crumble away, I still live. Not for what tomorrow might bring, but for yesterday held...
I have nothing to my name.
All shall fade away.
I will remain in a corner, unseen
and where men cannot understand.
I will remain in the void,
with nothing to my name
I wonder what it's like to be alive.
Is there life before death?
Or is there just death?
My road ends here. This is the end of the road. I have my knife in my right hand. I can use it to end it all right here right now or I can take a million years to make myself a new raod for others to trample on. I'd take the first option. There's no point trying to create your destiny in this world. It'll just be sucked away by those who do.
This is the end. You will not hear from me again.
永别了。。。 。。。
23 september Halo 3 oneoneoneTHE MOST ANTICIPATED CONSOLE GAME IS OUT IN 2 DAYS!!!
And that'll be none other than
HALO 3!
Oooohhh... I can't wait. I was surfing HBO and guess what I found?
This really cool rendered helmet.
That looks like GUNDAMMMM!!!
HERESY!
Check it out... 19 september Your mudder so fat, I mean, your teacher so shortGoing to school everyday with nothing going in but crap coming out. It's exam season once again... Anyway I shall list all the crap I came up with before I forget it...
YOUR TEACHER SO SHORT AND
YOUR TEACHER SO SMALL JOKES
Your teacher so short...
that he uses a stool for a table!
that when people see him they ask,"Where's Snow White?"
that when he go swimming, he almost drown in the baby pool!
that when he tip-toe, he only manages to reach the tip of his pencil!
that when he open his lap-top, he uses a ladder!
that when he hug a girl, he get sued!
Your teacher so small...
that when he take a walk in the park, Thumbelina almost step on him!
that when he watches TV, he only see one colour! (the pixels)
that when he go swimming, he cannot break the surface tension!
that when he types, he uses his elbows!
that when he goes underwater, he thought he went to disneyland! (H20 molecule looks like a mickey)
that when his bio teacher taught about membranes, he falsified the concept of partially permeable membranes!
that when he goes near a pebble, he gets caught in its gravitational field!
that when he plays soccer on a cornflake!
that when he used the pipette filler, he got stuck in the pipette!
that when it snows, he uses snowflakes as shirukens!
16 september HopeHope
God has placed all of his hope on us.
And I keep none for myself,
People look at me and they do not trust,
a hopeless person such as me.
Who else can I be?
With all that I have and am,
Beyond the horizon I cannot see.
Nor do I bother,
cause it's too far away from me.
I sit in my dirty little corner,
Thinking about who I am.
A worthless hopeless loser,
Never did I hope,
That the horizon would come any closer.
I begin my endless quest,
to see beyond the horizon.
My only hope that beyond the horizon,
lies the best.
After ages past,
I find myself,
Back where I was,
In ages past.
Is this where my hope is?
No, replied the sand,
it lies just over the horizon.
Right where I was in ages past.
Hope.
It brings you back to where you are,
to realise that there is none.
15 september Meaningful lyrics
12 september Random survery The most random survey....
The Most Random Survey
What's the first thing you do when waking up in the morning? Curse my body clock for waking me up so early.
Do you prefer a shower or bath? Gahmen say save water so do I have a choice?
How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Er...once?
How often do you find yourself thinking about your ex? Quite a few times actually. I feel really bad that I dumped her but I had to do it, she was too wild, not my type. But I will always love my Shadowjayde or my byte or my sailboat
What kind of cell phone do you have? A nokia 6230i that takes 5 seconds to lock and unlock 1 sec to load the menu. Will be getting a SE K800i soon or a SE K810i if I pick up a $50 note
What would you do with a 10 bill you found on the ground? Keep it for a rainy day. No I'm not going to use it to buy an umbrella. ella ella ella
What would you do with your significant other if you knew today was your last day with them? Just spend time together. Enjoy each other's company while it lasts
Have you said "I love you" today? Who can I say it to? Not even to myself
What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten? This guy running out of the toilet without his pants on because he didn't know how to wipe his little ass. But it didn't stop there, he had a piece of toilet paper stuck on his arse.
Did you cry at your graduation or smile because you were glad it was over? I almost cried at the end of primary 6. All my good pals parting ways...*sniff
Are you closer with your mom or dad? Hm...tough question I love both of them equally, though my Dad is the one that teaches me life skills
Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun? HAHAHAHA! Tanning on a boat!
Is chocolate really better than sex? Never had sex, so it's chocoalate, for now...
What's 2 of your favorite movies? LOTR Return of the King and Just Follow Law
What's the last thing you think about before going to sleep at night? What I'm going to do the next day
What would you do if your best friend jumped on your ex the day after you two split? Tell him to break up, if I broke up with my ex, there must be a GOOD reason why... ...
How many rumors have you heard about yourself? NOt that I bothered to count or hear
Which one did you find to be the funniest? Dunno
Does your life seem to revolve around drama? Emo drama, yes
What's a nickname you go by? Shadow Camper
Camperhero
Kwoker
Ducky
Cracker
Camperzor
Shadowjayde
Tommy
Tee Kay Wok
Tee Kwok
Tom
Tomato
Tomas
Thomaski
Kwokzor
Thomas Kok
Tom ass Kok
Tom no ass no Kok
How do you calm down when your extremely angry? If there's a good reason to be angry then i think my anger is justified. I don't give into petty anger
Do you prefer to work hard or hardly work? I want to hardly work hard
What are 3 places you want to see in the world? The North Pole, the bottom of the sea and my office. Well, I want to WANT TO see my office, right?
A movie or a long walk in the park on the first date? Camping trip
What are 3 of the first things you notice about the opposite sex? They're not the same
Face
Hair length (don't ask me why)
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Studying in NUS (sad life)
In 10? In my own home playing console games
Do long distance relationships actually work out? NEVER, trust me. The other party almost went suicidal.
Ever thought you met "The One"? It's good to have powers like Neo
What are 2 of your favorite places to eat? Hola Cafe at Eastpoint and any other hawker centre
3 of your favorite places to shop? I don't shop, I just buy stuff
Do you currently have a job? Nope, I'd want to be a camp instructor though
Which would you prefer...be rich and miserable, or poor and extremely happy? Rich and extremely happy or just extremely happy.
What's one of your favorite TV shows? Jackie Chan adventures
Does your life revolve around drama? Nope
What did you want to be when you "grow up"? An engineer
Would you ever date someone covered in tats and piercings? Depends, I'd ask the person why she did it in teh first place, if the reason is justified then I'm fine with it
What's your favorite perfume or cologne for the opposite sex? The "no smell" perfume
Do you believe the first kiss tells you everything you need to know about the relationship? Nope, how can you tell anything by touching each other's sensory organ for taste?
Where do your hands go when kissing someone? Er...home?
Do you know who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGE-BOB SQUARE FACE!!!
How many showers do you take in one day? one is enough
Are those better when you've got someone to join you? WHAT? Shower with me? You kidding? I'd be amazed if you can squeeze two ppl in my bath tub
Would you want a house at the beach or in the mountains? Beach, definitely. I can't live without sand and surf
Which would you rather have...a huge walk in shower or a jacuzzi bath tub big enough for 2? A jacuzzi bath tub big enough for 2 so I can stretch my legs. And what's up with a walk in the SHOWER?
What are 2 of your favorite colors? Red and black
Do you look up or at your feet when you walk? At my feet, I don't really like looking at strangers
What do you think about people that are extremely skinny and actually likes the way they look? Then so be it, it's their life
Who do you prefer...Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Aniston, she doesn't go round adopting kids
What's your favorite ice cream? Vanilla ice-cream
Do you like Starbucks...or are they just overpriced? I hate coffee
Are you a prep or a jeans-and-t-shirt type of person? I'm a oversized-red-t-shirt-and-shorts person
What color are your eyes? White and some black stuff in the middle
Do you have glasses or contacts? Spectacles, nobody wears cups on their faces
Ever had someone you love tell you they never want to see or talk to you again? Not yet, don't think it's that bad...
How many times has an ex just called you up when you least expect it? My boat doesn't talk
Is it love at first sight or lust? Lust, love takes time to build
Which do you want...a big extravagant wedding or a quiet intimate ceremony? Quiet ceremony by the beach
What's the most expensive thing you own? My phone, it's about a hundred bucks
What's the most you've ever spent on a pair of jeans? Never had a pair of jeans
What color are your bedroom walls? Pastel yellow and a blue wall with luminous stars on it
Do you ever actually make your bed? What for when you're going to mess it up again?
How many pillows do you have to sleep with? Minimum 1, for best results, use 2
Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone? Alone, so I won't have to worry about kicking that person
What is one of your pet peeves? Buggers who just spend like free and expects you to follow suit
What could you tolerate...someone who snores or a sleep walker? Sleep walker, he can't possibly walk on me right?
What's the craziest thing you've ever done? Go to school
Would you rather sky dive or bungee jump? I'd rather commit suicide
Ever been outside of the US? Never been to the US
Ever think Texas should just be part of Mexico? Texas hold'em should be played in VJ
How much do you think your house would be worth if it was setting in the hills of California? Everything, cuz if I bought a house there I must have sold everything else
What do you honestly think about the kids on Sweet 16? More like 16 Bastards
Are the shows on MTV too fake? Never had cable
Do you have to have some kind of noise to fall asleep? I'd kill the person making the noise
What time is it right now? 10.05 pm
What's your zodiac sign? Scorpio
How long does it usually take you to get dressed? 5 minutes
Do you prefer to call or text someone? Text
Who is your celebrity heart-throb? Jackie Chan
Would you have survived 100 years ago? I won't survive past 50, something tells me so
What do you think the world will be like in 30 years? Starting WW3
Do you have to be the center of attention? Nope
Do you save your money or spend it when you get your hands on it? Save, then spend it at one shot
Are you a party animal or someone who prefers to stay in? Stay indoors partying
Ever been told you are "The Life of The Party"? Nope
Did you get a new year's kiss? I'll strangle the person
What was one thing you wanted for your birthday you didn't get? A real camping knife
Are you a happy person? Define happy
If money was no option...what type car would you own? A Honda, do I get to keep the leftover money?
Do you think you could actually survive the cost of living in California or New York? Yes, you haven't stayed in Singapore yet
How many concerts have you been to? Chinese Ochestra Concerts? At least 5
What are 3 set radio stations in your vehicle right now? no radio, no vehicle. I don't have a radio on my bike
Do they "wear-out" good songs by over playing them? I hate the songs they play
What's one thing you always said you'd never do but have done? That I'll never use MSN
Have you ever flat ironed your hair? No, it's hair abuse
What's the most you've ever payed for shampoo and conditioner? $20
Was it actually worth it? It get's the job done
Ever been told your a flirt? WHAT? That, willl be the day...
What have you done that you are proud of? Beat Anson 25:24 on midship Halo 2
Do you go to church every Sunday? Yes
Do you have a hidden talent? I've yet to find it
Are you an adrenaline junkie or someone who plays-it-safe? Depends
Do you like water parks? I'd prefer the beach, the real thing is there
What do you normally eat for breakfast? Anything but bread
What do you think of those people that will actually pay 0 per person to eat dinner? Free dinner? They're my heroes
Ever been called a tease? What's it like being a tease?
What is one of your childhood memories? Being called names for 15 years
Do you like to cuddle? Touch me and I'll lop your head off
Do you have an actual comforter on your bed? My bed is emotionally stable thanks
Do you like the heat or cold weather? Cold, so stuff doesn't melt easily
What was your favorite cartoon as a kid? Jackie Chan adventures
Do you prefer dogs or cats? Dogs, cats are evil
When no one is home...do you actually walk around naked? WHAT? I wished my neighbour does, kidding kidding...
Have you ever seen a ghost? Nope, the ghost is lucky it hasn't seen me
What's the best movie you've seen recently? Transformers
Do you prefer scary movies or comedies? Comedies, why pay to scare the shit out of you, all you need is just to go to school
Ever had a huge crush on someone and never tell them? Let's start counting, 1...2...3...4...
Did you high school have the clicks like Mean Girls? Your glammer not verry good lei
Are you a bashful or outgoing person? Outgoing introvert
If you could change one thing about your body...would you? My height
If someone held a gun to your head and asked you..."Do you believe in God?" what would you say? Which answer are you going to shoot me for? Then say the opposite
Would you drive 1000 miles for the one you love? That would be quite a stupid thing to do in SIngapore
What was one thing you was given as a child and still have? My dinosaur soft toy Dino
Do you have a favorite shirt or pair of jeans you wear over and over? Yes, my oversized red t-shirt
Will you move away from your hometown any time soon? No money
Would you actually relocate for the one you can't live without? Yes
Does love really make you act crazy? Nope, I'm crazy already
How many texts do you send on average a month? Not alot, between 20 to 50 i guess. I never exceed my limit so i never bothered to count
Have you ever talked to a psychic? I talk to myself
How many kids do you want? 2 or 3
What's your favorite name for a girl and boy? Aquila (Boy) and Jade (Girl)
Have you ever actually snuck out of your house? I don't have to
How many things have you done that your parents don't know about? Too many to keep track
Ever been taken to jail? I've been to school, does it count?
Have you ever had a pen pal? My pal shares his pens with me
What are you about to do now that this survey is over? Make another pre-cheat sheet
Ancient jokeHow do you put an elephant into the refrigerator?
I bet most of you will say: Open the refrigerator door, put the elephant in and close the refrigerator door. That's what someone told you right?
So I ask again
How do you put an elephant into the refrigerator?
You can't, dumbass!!1
pwntzor 08 september Random quote"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him." -- Thomas Szasz -- 07 september Teh 5 peeps that you'll meet in heavenYup I just read the book in about 2 hours. Reading books is a good break from bio. It's driving me nuts. Trying to remember the stages of respiration and photosynthesis and drawing mental links between every topic. Very exhausting. Anyway back to teh book.
The outline of the book is that everything happens for a reason. Everything around you is there for a purpose. What you do and what others do has an impact on you and others whether you know it or not.
So therefore...
EOYs ARE HERE FOR A REASON AND IT'S GOING TO IMPACT YOU WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT!
Darn i wonder if the author is going to write a book about whether the ABSENCE of something is absent for a reason or not...Sounds like a good book to write about 05 september Gone LAN shoppingToday was horrible. Teoh pang seh and then LAN shop got porlem
I shall recount today's events in steps for easy reading
1. Roped in Jun Han and Kevin to go play LAN after LA
2. Decided to go to the LAN shop at tampines cuz Kevin say so, so never go Katong
3. Keith didn't bring clothes so I went to his house and then we meet at the LAN shop later
4. While on the bus to Tampines Jun Han sms me saying that Kevin dunwan to play liaoz, so therefore Jun Han doesn't want to play too
5. Keith and I were WTFing around cuz we were at bedok interchange already...RAH! So left the two of us
6. Found the LAN shop
7. BF2 graphics weren't working properly, cannot see the terrain nor people, like a video game in its early stages of production.
8. Decided to play CS instead, joined a internet server. Map was Dust 2, Keith was CT, I was T. Keith got kapwnt, I was struggling to keep my KD above 1 lol.
9. Map changed to the one with alot of trains.
10. Both of us got owned, was totally unfamiliar with teh map
11. Switched to Dota
12. Played one on one with keith, I used storm spirit and keith used the new faerie dragon
13. Played to about lvl 20+
THEN THE POWER WENT OUT
15. It was madness, all the coms died, Keith and I were fed up so we left.
16. That was my day...I'm never going back to that LAN shop again... 03 september Korean porlemALright, I feel that I shall post sth useful today before I go and study.
The South Korean hostages are back safely and the taleban are 25 million US dollars richer. What are they going to do with their new riches? Train more suicide bombers they said. Alright, let's see what problems and repercussions these koreans have caused. Their country is 25 million poorer, the money could go to helping the poor or building new homes and the taleban 25 million richer, the money will be spent on the destruction of property and loss of life. So a suicide bombing victim can somehow trace the cause back to the 23 south koreans. They should feel guilty as such.
As a christian myself i would like to applaud their efforts in trying to bring the gospel to afganistan. Nevertheless their doings have brought about much tragedy. I have been told that South Korea has banned all missionary work in Afganistan. It is simply too dangerous. If you still decide to go be prepared to make some sacrifices, even your life. I think the Koreans underestimated the taleban. they think that by keeping a low profile (by taking a chartered bus) will ensure their safety. The taleban is a terrorist group, they have their own runners and spies everywhere. Who knows if the man you're evangelising to may be a spy working for the taleban? There were risks involved and these Koreans were not prepared to take the risks.
From the government's perspective, what is 23 missionaries compared to 25 million? No way these koreans are worth 25 million. I think the government did a very kind yet foolish deed by giving in to the taleban's demands. We all know how the act was kind but we may not know why it is foolish. Why should a nation pay for 23 people's mistakes? They failed to anticipate the danger and ended up as hostages. It was a costly decision. If I was a missionary going to Afganistan, I would not expect to return alive, that is the price to pay if you're a missionary. If I was held hostage, kill me and be done with it, although I might be subjected to many horrors before I die. I don't want to be a burden to my country and the international community. Now that the taleban are empowered who knows what they might do? Capture more hostages with even bolder methods with better equipment?
I can only shake my head at the Korean missionaries. |
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